Book Review by Linda White, BVCC Pastoral Assistant

Pastor Ron asked me to read a sample book that the church received in the mail entitled “I Quit!”.  The book is written by a pastor’s wife, Geri Scazzero, whose husband Peter Scazzero, is the founder and has been the Senior Pastor at New Life Fellowship Church in Elmhurst, New York  for over two decades.

 After years of pretending that everything was alright in her life, and trying to please everyone in her family and the church, Geri Scazzero decided it was time to make some changes.  The most drastic was telling her husband she “was quitting the church”.  Geri confesses quitting was the hardest thing and seemed like the end, but it was really only the beginning of getting her self-being and spiritual life back on track.

 Through the book Geri admits this wasn’t an easy choice, but the only hope for her to become who she was meant to be in Christ.  She initiated a few steps that she credits for the spiritual transformation that God has made in her life today.   

1.  QUIT BEING AFRAID OF WHAT OTHERS THINK -  If we don’t break through our need for the approval of others, our growth is seriously stunted. We cannot mature into spiritual adulthood and a  wall is erected that stands between us and the beautiful future God has for us. We settle for the comfort of being “okay” with others, based on others being “okay” with us.

2.  QUIT LYING –  Lying and pretense is so deeply ingrained in our society today that we rarely notice it. You lie when you take on responsibilities you don’t want to do, lie to be polite, lie out of anger, lie out of fear, and lie to not disappoint people.

3.  QUIT DYING TO THE WRONG THINGS – Geri believed that she always had to put others’ needs before her own and that she needed to die to herself to accomplish this.  She sees many Christians who live unhappy, unfulfilled lives.  They can be tired, frustrated and often resentful, then slowly burn out.   She sees that God never intended us to die to the parts of ourselves that bring life to our souls.

4. QUIT DENYING ANGER, SADNESS AND FEAR -  In Geri’s book she encourages the reader to “feel their feelings…identify the reasons for feeling the way you do”.  When we quit denying sadness, anger and fear we will lead a more spiritually and physically healthy life.  Owning your feelings will also prevent you from projecting your emotions in a negative way to someone else.

5. QUIT BLAMING – Blaming others comforts us, at least for a while, with the illusion that we are in control. We all have choices in life and no one is responsible for you and your life but you.  We can’t change others, but we can change ourselves, and we must be able to say “no” to say a healthy “yes”. Geri says when we quit blaming and utilize our God-given personal freedom, our sense of helplessness evaporates. 

6. QUIT OVER FUNCTIONING – Geri says “we over function when we do for others what they can and should do for themselves.”  Over functioning dangerously affects friendships, marriages, churches, workplaces and families. Over functioning builds resentment, prevents us from focusing on our own life, erodes our spiritual life and destroys community.  God invites us to take responsibility for our own lives and not be over responsible for others.

7. QUIT FAULTY THINKING -  Faulty thinking is when we believe something to be true that is false.  As Mark Twain once said “It isn’t what you don’t know that hurts you; it is what you know that isn’t so” . Faulty thinking is a deadly threat to emotional and spiritual health.  There are three types of faulty thinking Geri describes:  1. All or nothing  (when we exaggerate, make things much bigger than they are.)  2.  Taking things personally (when we take offense at, take responsibility or blame for something before we have all the facts.)  3. Thinking things will never change (When you think this way you remain rooted in the past, but to assume a situation can change leads to new energy in your life. )

8. Quit Living Someone Else’s Life -  When you are living out someone else’s dream it can feel like you’re on an out of control bus, and God calls us to get off the bus that other people are driving.  1.  Discover yourself (remember you are God’s handiwork);  2. Discover your integrity (recognize and define what is important to you);  3. Listen to your inner rhythm (What makes you thrive in a healthy balanced way? Remember, what is optimal for you will not be optimal for those around you.);  4. Set your boundaries (Who do we set boundaries with?  The answer is simple… with everyone!  By doing this we are setting ourselves free to live our life and setting those around us free as well.  5. Let go of others (Quit trying to run other people’s lives. It takes energy and time to run interference and control others.   It also takes the focus off your own life.)

Geri’s prayer is that we take hold of God’s courage to live divided no more, refusing to smile on the outside, while being sad on the inside.  She adds,  “It is never too late to start quitting.”

The book “I Quit!” is available for checkout in our church library.